Big Decisions...

I was given a huge decision to make today. I wish I could say more but honestly I think I should stay vague for a while still.... I was given the opportunity to totally change the course of my life today... I think for the better. But in return for this change I have to basically give up everythign I did/am doing to get where I am now. It woudl possibly make me happier in a more materialistic way but I don't know if it would make me happy in an everyday sort of way. I'm scared to screw up... This isn't like screwing up like wearing black socks with a brown belt or whatever.... it's like life screwed up. I feel like i'm giving up alot to get alot... where's the balance? Maybe I can just win the powerball or something ... $210 million would solve just about everything prolly... except that happiness thing...I'm going to bed.... we'll see what happens tomorrow I guess....

...I was like... Whatever!...

Last night I think I slept a total of 3 hours... not in a row though... Had a Carmel Macchiato and a DoubleShot from Starbucks... Not smart at 930 at night... Went out with the gang last night just to catch up on things, it appears that not one of us has a very exciting life at all... I've spent most of the last week with Emmy though. That's probably the biggest news, we're still friends. It weird I ran into someone last night, and of course they asked about her. It was cool to say that after everything we've been through that we're still friends and we're getting along just great. I mean yeah there is some tension over our "status" or whatever but just the same I think we're really getting close again. Right now, I think that's all I care about, yeah having her back s "mine" would be wonderful but I know she can't make that decision yet and I don?t' want her to until she is totally sure. Can't deal with the heartache again. I'm going to buy my books for next semester today... $500... I won't even use them most likely. I'm ready to go back to school I think... There?s not much else to do when all your friends work and stuff during the day. I have a good schedule next semester I think... 2 days a week, and then I can work the other days. Matt's leaving soon, I'm bummed. Anyway I found a new site this morning, kind of like Relevant but different I guess. It's called The Ooze If nothing else, it gives me something to blog about now and then I guess. It gets my mind going in the least. Either way it's on my favorites/daily sites to visit now. I dunno, I spent part of last night working on my laptop... It's almost back to normal now and actually appears to be working just fine. Maybe I won't be getting a new one. Unless I can find a way to break it or something. I'm mad right now cause my stupid site is down and no one is going to read this. But like I've said a hundred times before, I need this to stay sane. I wish these people would get on the stick and get this stupid site fixed. It's been down for like 5 days now. They have a 99.9% uptime guarantee. Where's my money? Anyways I should be getting to work now. I'll catch you all later.

I'm a geek dood...

I just spent like the last 3 hours renaming most of my MP3 files so that they don't say "Various Artists - YMCA - Village People" Hate that, now they are all good. I'm not sure what I'm going to do tonight... Might go over to Matt's might just hang here like I've done all day. Tomorrow I'm going to Indy to exchange everything and hopefully buy a new video card... that should be an adventure... I need to get out of this chair, but everyone is in the living room and as usual at my house I'm not feeling very social... It's just one of those things I guess... Maybe I should redo my laptop since that came back yesterday... I dunno... I'm gonna go find something... later

Disappointed but I'll live

Had X-mas a day early... didn't get what I wanted. Ya know, how you kinda stack your Christmas list with "lesser" items so you hopefully get the bigger things. Well this year it back fired on me... I got all the lessers.... I'm not ungrateful necessarily; I liked what I got but lemme just run down through what's gone wrong lately. First got a new watch... great watch... too big and I think I've scratched the face already... I got some new clothes, like 5 shirts and 3 pairs of jeans.... yeah on pair of jeans fits and only 2 of the shirts fit. I got an "old man" sweatshirt... cream color with embroidery on it... ack! I also go the new Simpson's Hit and Run game... yeah... doesn't work with my video card so I have to take the money that I got from the uncles to go freakin buy a new video card...ahhhh! About the only thing that I got that works right and well is my new UPS for my computer... Of course all you have to do is plug it in, but still. I'm counting my blessings on that as it is... I got a ton of DVDs too... how could that go wrong?... give it time I guess. I've spent the last few days with Emmy, like I've said I'm encouraged but not totally optimistic yet. I'm happy with how things are going and still have faith that things will work themselves out. Its going to be a long day... on top of everything... my site is down so basically no one will see this for at least a week... I hate the world mostly...The worst way to miss someone is to be sittin right beside them knowing you cant have them

The phone never stops ringing...

Emmy called today after she got off work. We decided not to do anything.. No big deal, I was just going ot chill too... Literally as soon as I hung up, Matt calls and invites me out to Applebee's at 7... So I'll be there tonight for a bit at least...

I'm sorry I ripped off your ear!

Last night went well I think. Saw Mona Lisa Smile it was ok I guess, kind of flat overall but I liked it. A rent not a buy. Saw the lights in Marion of course. Even though I said before that maybe I'm not in the "Christmas mood" I think now maybe I'm getting there a bit more. The lights, the music, it's all slowly getting there... Too bad that it'll be here and gone before I totally get there. Oooohh... so close last night... :) Too bad we're both scared and you turned away. Short work week this week, not a lot to do cause most everything is on hold, just waiting for proofs. I get paid this week thank God; it's getting a little tight. Not to worry, I have comm. coming this week so maybe I can pay a little more than usual on something. Gotta love that flirtatious banter, kinda like this comic, we do that, it's what makes it all worthwhile. If you don?t' have a best friend that you can fool around with like this, then it's not worth having a friend at all. If that best friend turns into something else, well all the power to ya. I'm just waiting on my wish to come true. BTW... so far so good today, "strong like bull."

24 hours later...

It's a beautiful day today... 40 something degrees today... it's 3 days until Christmas and it's 40 degrees... I hate Indiana... Stupid weather. Yesterday was a good day. The wedding was... well a wedding. I'm glad it happened for him, but selfishly it sucks because it's another piece of the gang getting married off. I spent five hours on a futon last night just talking. Probably the best five hours I've had in a long time. We talked about anything and everything basically. I'm going to beat it... I don't' have a choice. Today has been a good day. I haven't cracked yet. Maybe if I can get through 24 hours I can stay off it for good this time. I don't know. Hopefully. I'm encouraged by the conversations of last night but still not totally sold on the idea that anything will happen anytime soon. I hope that it does, but like I said, it hasn't happened yet. Still hopeful though and either way, like she said last night, this has been probably the best 4 months for us. We've became better people because of it and made ourselves get away from each other. I think I'm glad it happened as long as the end result comes out right... I've been trying to write this for about an hour now so I'm going to stop and maybe write more later or something..

80-41!!!!

WTF... I can't believe they lost by that much... Did they even show up for the second half?

A few moments begin an eternity

I'm going to a friend's wedding today. He's about 6 months older than me and he's getting married to a girl that he's known for his entire life but only has dated for the last 5 months, part of which he spent about 1000 miles away from her. He says he's totally sure3 about what he's doing and has no reservations about anything for today. I'm happy for him; I mean it's not often that people actually get married because they "know." Sure people get married because it's convenient or they think that they are with the right person but nothing at leads me to believe that his intentions are anything less that totally sincere. I wish them the best and hope that they have many long years ahead of them. I spent most of the night last night with matt.... First I went out with the gang to go to Kokomo and just hang out or whatever, but everyone is sick and such. So I met Matt and some other people at like 10 to go back to Kokomo to BW's ... packed as usual. We hung out and just talked and stuff basically. Nothing important to report. It's Christmas this week, and like I've said to a few people this year, it's just not as magical as it has been in years past. I don't' know if it's cause I'm alone this year or because there's no snow or just because I'm getting older. People just seem to be going through the motions. Whether you are in the spirit or not I still hope that everyone gets their Christmas wish, I'm still waiting for mine...

I like the pink!

I hate being sick. Right now one nostril is totally not working and the other is hit or miss. I've got a headache like you wouldn?t believe and I think I have a fever. This week has been kinda hectic but almost surreal at the same time. I have taken 3 of 4 finals now and so far I'm doing really well. Bus: B+, Eng: A, Accounting: A, Econ...? Please A? I was so excited last night when I found out that I got a 94% on my accounting test, I know this made certain people a bit mad, cause mine isn?t' as hard as theirs, but still I worked for it, actually studied for once and pulled off something that I didn't know I could do. I hung out with Matt and Josh on Tuesday night, good times, Matt was trashed. $20 at Applebee?s and all I got was some wings and a beer, Newcastle Brown Ale is awesome, especially when it's free! Josh is getting married on Saturday, wow. He says he's ready, I think I believe him, really has his heart set on Beth so I think it'll all work out for the best. It weird seeing your friends get married, starting their lives and such when you're just hanging out and letting life happen around you. I'm not ready for that, I may think I am, but I know that I'm really not. I like being a kid. It's fun, carefree, and I'm still in my "finding out who I am" stage I think. Last night we went out to celebrate Tricia's birthday, Outback. The steaks were good, but I really couldn't taste mine given that I have the Mongolian Gerbil Plague. Today I graduate from LK, a long year but I seriously think I learned a lot from it, well worth the $500 I spent. It's kind of bittersweet though, the girls at FH are awesome, and most don't deserve the hands they've been dealt in life. Just victims of circumstance I suppose. It's going to be nice though to have one less obligation every other week. Hopefully the group will stay in contact in some way. Email of course, maybe lunch now and then or something. I can't wait for this week to be over so I can get some sleep and just rest... maybe I'll stop being sick if I could sleep for like 14 hours or something. I dunno... it's time for work... Later

I'm getting sick!!!

I hate being sick... I'm takign crap for it now.. Vitamin C and Echenacea at least for now. I'm goin to take one final tomorrow... Hopefully I can stay well for the other 3 on wednesday and thursday. I haven't put nearly enough time or effort into studyign for these tests... maybe tomorrow...*pondering* I'm getting a new laptop.. at least I will once the shop determines that it's broken for sure. I cna't get sick now... too close to x-mas... I'm goign to bed... later

People need to shut up

I hate when people think that they know what's going on and then go off and tell everyone a half truth. I mean why not go to the source? Ask the right questions and get an honest answer... Stupid people, hypocrites at that.
Tonight when well for the most part, Christmas program at church, how bad coudl it be? Got almost everything bought now too. :) Overly-religious people bother me, I have nothign against religion and as a matter of fact I think that everyone should have a religion of some kind. But peoepl who just get up and jump aroudn and all that, too much, it's all for show to me. I think there is a time and place to worship for everyone to yourself, soem people do it just to show off I think...

We got him!

MSNBC - U.S. forces capture Saddam in Iraq

Looks like good ole Saddam was captured today... He looks like a dirty Sanata Claus in all the picutres though. I think this is a cool moment is history but I don't think that this means that our troops are any safer over there or that they will eb home any sooner. My friend is still goin over there... it sucks.
I've got a ton of studying to do today... then church tonight with the family.

New Look!?!!?

MSNBC - A new look for MSNBC.com I'm ticked... this site now looks like another MS piece of crap with Dot Net and Passport on it. I'm all about changing design to accomodate more content and such. But the stories still look the same, it's just more MS adverts and different fonts... I hate change... a simple webp[age change can lead me to write a post... what do I do for really big changes... yeah, i go nuts that's right...Off to find a new news page... later

Minor Changes...

Minor changes to the layout today... Last night was cool.. ran into some old frineds from HS and then some firends from IUk showed up.. Played some cards.... watched a guy drink about 6 brews... i only had one thank you! went ot Crista's party before that... it was cool.. just hung out and got to see everyone a bit out of their element... much more relaxed basically... Tonight... i'm goin out... no idea what or where but i'm going. Hopefully more peoepl can come tonight too... There were liek 10 of us last night, but I only liked about 3... Anyways... check out the new front page for MB.com and my new stuff on the sidebar here... later

Frazzled

Soundtrack of my life: Brian Wilson - Barenaked Ladies

I'm watching Eight Crazy Nights... not a great movie, but's ok... A good story... just kinda lame overall I guess. Today was busy as heck... got alot done though... Hopefully tomorrow will go well too, party for Christa, work, out with the guys maybe... I dunno... it's been a dull day but a busy one basically... I have to study all weekend for finals... woo hoo.... pssht i hate finals... But that means i'm one semster closer to graduating and maybe getting out of Kokomo. I dunno... That part of my life is too far away for me to worry about, live for the moment and all that.

It works... It's alive again!

So I spent today doing crap all morning basically to get my car working again. First of all let me tell you what happened. I was going home last night and noticed that the car was making a funny noise, almost like it had and exhaust problem... When I got to 31 I heard the belt let go. This is usually not a problem, I had to turn everything in my car off except the lights and deal without power steering but since 31 is straight I didn't' think much of it really. I decided that since Autozone was still open, I would swing by and pick one up and then put it on when I got home. By the time I got to autozone my car was overheating badly because the water pump was also controlled by that belt. I pulled in to Autozone, got a flashlight and then I saw it.... Parts everywhere, I freaked... Had the guy come look at it, the spring tensioner thingy was busted... All over the place. Not only could I not drive the car, but most likely it was going to take 2 days to get a new part in. So I left the car at Autozone overnight until I could get it towed in the morning or maybe at least hobble along to the nearest repair place. This morning I got up and started calling places to fix it... While I'm on the phone. The idea of just renting a car for a day or two comes to mind, sure lets do that, then I wont' be without a car and I can still go out and stuff if I need to. I found a place to fix it, $55, not as bad as I thought really. So I dropped the car off, while I was checking it in, it was going to sit for 2 days before the part came in, the lady called one place in town that I didn't even know existed.. They had the part in stock, and it was cheaper by $10. Woo hoo... She said that they still wouldn't get to it until sometime later today or early tomorrow. No biggie, I'm renting a car, she said fine and off I go to rent a car. Got a Ford Focus, not a bad car I must say, I want one actually. I rented the car Arden 10AM, at 11AM the place called and said that my car was fixed and that it was going to be $70 cause they had found some other problem, that they fixed. So now I had to take the rental back, paid $50 for driving a car 10 miles.... Then I went and got my car out of the shop... So basically... I'm out like $200 plus like 4 hours of work... It sucks, but I have my car back now :) Thank God... I hate being without a car. Now I have to go to English and turn in my final paper, thank God for that too... I'm almost done for the semester... Later

I give up on everything

Soundtrack of my life: Soak it Up - Warren Barfield

My car blew up this evening... smoke, flying metal, you name it... it's in Kokomo now in a parking lot til someplace opens tomorrow to fix it... I dont' care. I 'm tired of everything going wrong... Why cant' one thign thsi year go right for me... that's all I ask... one thing that happens that i actually come out ahead somehow... I give up... just screw everyone... *check please, i want out of here

Oh yeah...

Soundtrack of my life: Dream On - Aerosmith

Redesigned the front page too... The new MB.com Check it out... leave me some feedback... later

45 seconds for cheese paper?

Soundtrack of my life: Two Beds and a Coffee Machine - Savage Garden

Ok so i just got done eating a double cheeseburger from McDonald's... I bought it earlier and put it in the fridge... I reheated it in the mircowave for 30 seconds it wasn't hot yet so i gave it another 15 seconds.... now first of all, when you're hungry and tired 45 seconds is far too long to wait for food. I waited knowing that the warm tasty burger i was about to consume would make everything alright... well after 45 seconds i took the now warm cheeseburger to my room to enjoy... cheese paper! now normally i like a little cheese paper, kind of a bonus really. But this time, it was different, apparantly sometime during those last 15 seconds all of the cheese had evaporated from the burger/bun to the paper and into thin air, so in short, i just ate a double hamburger...
This is what happens to your mind when you've finished two papers in 3 hours... my midn is blank... my eyes hurt... i'm going to bed... see you tomorrow maybe

Sentences made of pictures....

This is what I do now... Pathetic maybe... but I just can't let go of the greatest thing I've ever known.

My Blog is still down...

Soundtrack of my life: Coldplay - Clocks -

No one is reading this but since it's my self-prescribed therapy I'm still going to write. Today was entirely too much fun... I wrote 2 papers and watched the Colts game... ok so it's wasn't fun... but I still did it... I'm watchign Bruce Almighty now... a good movie I must say "It's gooooood"... I like it, I shall buy it.... whenever I'm not poor again... I'm going to go watch the movie... I'm depressed... maybe more later

Still not back online...

Soundtrack of my life: Don't Dream It's Over - Sixpence None The Richer

So the hosting company said it was their colo... They said they are getting it back up and then moving to a new service provider... either way I'm paying for a service that doesn't' work, as a matter of fact, most of you won't read this til it's too late and already fixed, but I need to rant a bit. It snowed 5 inches here today... the roads were horrible, I made it into work ok and stuff, but still it was cold and dreary all day as usual in Indiana during winter. Last night I was at school until about 1130 work on my business plan with my group.... 1130!!!! Holy dog crap, it was due at 345 that afternoon but after we went to the Dean about how horrible of a Prof She was and then basically yelled at her in her office she gave us an extension til Monday. Now I hate taking advantage of someone like that when the whole class doesn't get the same benefit so we stayed at the school til they basically kicked us out and got it all done. I turned it in today... woo hoo! Only 2 more papers and a few more accounting problems to go. I'll be so glad when this year is over... its just wearing on me for some reason. part of it is probably the fact that I was out of school for an entire year and I have horrible study skills, but either way I'm ready for a vacation where I can just kick back and sleep most of the day or something I'm going out with the guys tonight... movies or some such and then to matt's tomorrow help decorate their house for x-mas he wants me to stay the night and rink with him but I don't' know if I will or not, it's just not my thing really... a beer now and then is cool, but drinking to get drunk just doesn't excite me anymore. I only did it a few times any way but mostly it's a waste of money and time. I think I'm just going to go over have a beer and then go home or something. We'll see. I need to get some stuff done this weekend most of all though, papers are due on Tuesday and Wednesday next week. I should go get ready for tonight... that consists of me putting on my shoes and getting a glass of water er something, but still I'm done typing for now... plus by the time I spell check this it'll be an hour later than it is now... see you all later

The Internet hates me...

If you're reading this it means that my site is working again, for the past few days my site has been up and down. Then on top of all that my DSL at work went down today so I haven't' been online hardly at then, on top of that until today I haven't' been able to have 'net access at school. I think someone there thought I was looking at porn or something. I hate people... Tonight is my meeting for my English paper which is only half way done anyways, but I really don't' care. Then after that I'm going to meet Matt for his birthday dinner and then off to class again... Stupid accounting... After that I'm torn between going out with Matt to celebrate his adultivity or going home and sleeping since I'm so freakin tired... I'm sick I think... Tomorrow is the last day of LK... woo hoo... And sad at the same time... Oh well off to class or something...

Pulled over for the 10th time!

Soundtrack of my life: The Time of My Life - Mark Schultz

Last night on 500... There a 4 way at Wallick that is always a dead interaction... especially at midnight... well I slowed down to maybe 10 or 15MPH... Next thing I know as I take off, I see a set off headlights come on... then as I'm accelerating even slower I see the reds and blues come on... So I pulled over to the side of the road... basically in a corn field... the cop got out asked for license and registration as usual... gave it to him he goes to step away and then he comes back and asks me to step back to his car with him... I get in the car... he says "do you know why I stopped you?" *thinking of a funny line from Liar Liar* "depends on how long you've been following me" but instead I said not rally... eh said that I didn't' fully stop at the stop sign, which I knew of course but I wasn't' going to fess up to it just like that. I agreed and he said since I tried he was only going to give me a warning. Didn't' call in my plates or license at all... just wrote out a warning and let me go... now I know I'm not the most criminal looking person around but still I could have been wanted somewhere for something... either way I finally got home... now I'm sitting here looking at my still unfinished paper, I hate English right now...

A crazy week...

Soundtrack of my life: Kenny Chesney - There Goes My Life

Let's see where to start... well the weekend was a wash basically... Nothing exciting... I bowled, slept, ate, slept, hung out, slept.... Monday was a better day I guess... more exciting at least. Went to work, it was Tony's b-day so he was off... No one was around though, so most of my called when straight to BM. Then I went to class and tried to work on my English paper... that went horribly because I just wasn't in the mood to do anything at the time, so then we went to eat and then I went to accounting. Found out what's on the final and I'm ready to cry... it's everything that I didn't' think was important enough to remember, and of course everything that I do remember isn't' going to be on the test. Oh well that's how life usually works right now. Last night I also spend a little time at the hospital with my great grandma... she's septic and got pneumonia... yuck... it's probably not going to be long now for her actually.. And that sucks... I hardly know here but still it sucks. I know it'll tear my grandpa apart. then I went over to matt's house for a bit to help him with some stuff... all in all I got home around 1230 and then still had about an hour of studying to do.. of course this morning when the alarm went off I was totally not into getting up at all so I just called Tony and then went back to bed... took the day off... got up though cause I still had that stupid English paper to finish... got a little more done but not much.. Then I went to class... our financial plans were due today so we took like an hour to finish them up then when we went to class she didn't' want them printed out... stupid teacher... so we went back to the lab and emailed them to her... the good thing is though our entire business plan is done now... sans one résumé which I should get anytime now... I think we'll be fine... it's only about 40 pages or so... now I just got home and I'm going to eat some dinner and then go back to school for econ.. then I'll come back home and kill myself until I get this English paper done cause it's due tomorrow afternoon... what fun what fun... talk to you later...

I hate writing papers...

Soundtrack of my life: Girl all the Bad Guys Want - Bowling for Soup

It's Saturday afternoon... well evening now and I'm sitting here trying to write tow papers that are both due next week. It's almost finals now so that means that every prof has given out their last big assignments, and secretly made them all due on the same day so as to totally stress and confuse all college students. I've been busy the last few days with stuff... I'll say just stuff because I don't' really know what I've been dealing with lately. I've gone on and eating binge and then fasted... Not sure why but I'm either starving all day or not hungry at all. Life has been rough, family, friends, and such. My horoscope said today that I should learn to deal with change and that I should let go of some of my convictions, I wish I knew which. Do you ever pray? Do you ever get answers? Sometimes I don't' understand them, the answers I mean. Sometimes I wonder if the answers I'm getting are even answers to the questions I've been asking. Interpretation has never been a strong point for me. I think I ruined a friendship yesterday too, I dint' mean to I was just trying to let my feelings be known and in the process i started and argument that neither of us can ever win. My intent was not to start something; I keep it all inside and then just explode sometimes. Apparently not the best thing to do. Why can't I just say what I have to say without being reprimanded for it, I saw something, I know I did. Someday… I haven't given up totally yet.

Have some turkey...

Soundtrack of my life: Flake - Jack Johnson

its thanksgiving today, the day when we all get together and stuff our faces to celebrate what we're thankful for. Kinda like eating chocolate bunnies on Easter... What do rabbits and eggs have to do with a religious holiday? Anyways this has been an interesting week so far. I went to Bloomington on Tuesday to pick up Emmy. Yesterday I went to Indy with the guys and went to crackers... first of all it was the single most horrible time I've ever had at Crackers. Even the comic knew he was bad and decided to end the show early I think. He just wasn't funny. Today everyone is coming over here to eat as always and that's cool I guess but I'm just not that social when it comes to like family things I guess. Maybe because all they do is tell old and embarrassing stories about everything. I'd rather talk bout things that are going on right now guess. Oh well that's the way it is I guess. I'm going over to Matt's later today I think, if I don't' go somewhere else. I need to go out tonight, it's Thanksgiving, why not go out to the movies and stuff.... Anyways it's almost time to eat around here... I'll be back I'm sure cause I'll be bored most of the afternoon.

It's snowing

It's snowing today... yesterday it was 65 degrees and slightly overcast now it's 25 and snowing... I hate Indiana. It's finally a holiday weekend coming up, I have 5 days off! woo hoo.... Not that I really have anything to do but still, it's time to just hang out I guess. Emmy's coming home tomorrow, I'm going to pick her up and stuff... We're gonna hang out sometime this week. Should be cool... sorta like old times I guess... Do you ever think about how you became who you are, all of us are dealt different hands in life. I have friends who have been through some of the most horrific things I can imagine, yet somehow they get through it. Life changes us everyday, we just have to find the good in it and move on. I think that even the most tragic events can have good points that we should all focus on. Yes, we should grieve and mourn, but at the same time, move on. I think I've been doing a lot of that in the past few months. Life has dealt me some very hard things to tackle this year, but still I feel like I've came out ok. Jobs, friends, relationships have all changed this year. Most of them I didn't' even see coming but I've learned to deal with them very well I think. I had an interesting weekend. Went to Indy on Friday, had a lot of fun. Some things happened that maybe they shouldn't have, but still I think they had to in order to make sense of the situation. I made a promise to two very important people a while back, I'm glad to say that I've kept that promise for a long time now. I have been so tempted so many times but every time I manage to keep my head on my shoulders and make the right decision. Sometimes the one thing you want isn't the best. Tough decisions to make in the months and weeks ahead... I'm going to choose what's best for me I guess. Just try to get what I want, and hopefully everything else will fall into place...

Shawshank Redemption

Soundtrack of my life: Tonight And The Rest Of My Li - Nina Gordon

If anyone out there has TNT and pays any attention to it they will have noticed that The Shawshank Redemption has been on pretty much every weekend for the past few months. In case you haven't seen the movie at all here's the synopsis from IMDB.com:

Andy Dufresne, a mild mannered New England banker, is convicted of murdering his wife and her lover. Despised at first by the other inmates because of his introverted manner, Andy slowly forges an unlikely friendship with Red, a seasoned lifer and his gang. Soon, Andy also becomes popular with the prison guards, including the vicious Captain Hadley who offers him protection against the jail's rougher convicts in exchange for financial counseling. The prison warden also takes advantage of Andy's banking knowledge by exchanging privileges for creative bookkeeping. Over a twenty year period, Andy is able to maintain his sanity and dignity in prison not by physical force but by mental force. His smarts and confidence keep him going and he is able to teach the other prisoners that hope is the ultimate means of survival.

Now I will say that I like this movie, a good story, Morgan Freeman is a great actor and Steven King is a great writer, but I'm tired of it now. Of course, soon all you will see Ralphie if the Christmas Story wanting his Red Ryder BB gun with double-carbon action. I love that movie too, I guess basically I'm ranting because I think there needs to be more variety of movies on cable but at the same time, whenever I see most anything else on, I hate it too... I'm going to go buy some jeans... more later maybe... /rant

Wasting another day...

Soundtrack of my life: Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

It's Saturday and I'm sitting here with nothing to do really. I spent all afternoon lounging around and paying bills.Oh well anyways I also played with the layout of the blog... as you can see not much changed... I almost had Blogamp working this morning but I don't know Java for crap so I have no idea how to fix it. I had to download Winamp 2.91 to get it to work and then I found a component for Winamp 3.0 that would make a Winamp 2 plug-in work in 3. Complicated crap, if you don't do know what I'm talking about consider yourself lucky. I'm going out tonight... but I really don't have any clue what I'm going to do. The Bucket Game was today... Purdue won... that's coo. I guess but I didn't'figure it would be as close as it was. Seriously so far it's been a totally worthless day... Off to dinner

Profiles...

Soundtrack of my life: Santana feat. Alex Band - Why Don't You And I - Michelle Branch

Do you ever just sit around and read all your buddies profiles on AIM? I do from time to time, mainly cause i'm nosey I guess. I know I'm not the only one who does it, obviously, you wouldnt' have a profile if you didn't expect people to look at it. I think the one thing that bothers me about it you can't read the profiles of people who have "real" AOL. Why not? Do they have something so sacred in their profiles that no one else but fellow AOL'ers can read them? I think it's descrimiation! Ok time for bad and the end of this worthless post...
BTW if anyone knows how to get their winamp playlist "live" on their blog through blogger please get in touch with me via AIM, email, comments, or carrier pigeon.. I'm dying to get this working, but all I can find is an MT solution... later all

Scurvy... can I get that?

Soundtrack of my life: Ceci n'est pas un chanson - Bran Van 3000

It's a nice day outside. I read today that scurvy is caused by not eating vegetables... Do french fries count? It?s been a dull day really. Its 62 outside right and it's almost Thanksgiving... In Indiana!!! Something is not right with that. Last classes today until the week after T-day. Woo hoo! I've got to get some HW done over vacation though, papers to write and such. The weekend is turning into an interesting one... More on that on Sunday I guess. I need to get some free time though to just lounge around, and on that note tonight i'm going out after class to hang with people. Actually I need to just sit at home for a while and regroup, it's been too long since I?ve done that and honestly i think I just don?t do that because I get too bored when I do it. There's nothing to do at my house other than sit at the puter.... I get tired of surfing basically which is partly why i write here so much and probably repeat myself a hundred times... Also, I'm re-falling in love with REM, Imitation of Life and Nightswimming are amazing, underappreciated songs. Too bad I have no one to share them with like the old times.... Changes...

No School for me!

Soundtrack of my life: Get Low - Lil Jon, Ying Yang Twins

So I went to my accounting class today... it was the same ole same ole... Until my prof, being the cool guy he is said that we have no class on Monday cause he didn't have anything left to teach. Therefore, I have no classes at all next week. Woo Hoo!. I'm not going to see the Bucket game now in Bloomington either, tickets were just way too much. So I'm going out on Friday as planned and then who knows what on Saturday, although Kyle is supposed to call me. Got some new speakers today too... they rock... my others died in some kind of power surge thingy. Things are going well though, it's holiday weekend coming up...

I am a Manatee-atee

John Lithgow wrote a children's book, I checked it out the toher day at the store with a friend. It was Interesting to say the least. Here's an excerpt:
From time to time I dream
that I'm a manatee
Undulating underneath the sea.

Unshackled by the chains of idle vanity,
A modest manatee,
That's me

I'm a manatee,
I'm a manatee,

Outside the fold of boring old humanity.
No difference between my face and fann-atee...


Ok, I realize that children's books are supposed to be somewhat stimulating to young minds, but "idle vanity", and the "-atee" at the end of most every page are a little annoying. I urge all of you parents out there to not buy this book. It's lame!
On to other things though, It's raining and I'm stressed... I'm going out tonite... more later maybe.

More strokes folks...

Look at the bottom of my page.... see that WhatPulse count... yeah that's my thing that tells me how much I've typed on this computer... I have no idea how good ti works or whatever... but as usual I'm always trying out useless stuff

Confusion

Soundtrack of my life: Imitation of Life - REM

What did I do? Was it a mistake? Was the other one right? Am I just not coming to terms with what I really want? What knows, all I know is I'm in this and I'm going to deal with it. No more cop outs, no more excuses. I've dealt myself a hang and now I'm playing it. This used to be so easy, why did I have to make it so hard? All those choices I made, could I have changed it? Maybe yes, but probably not, I still blame myself.
School's ramping up to get hard now. End of term projects and such. Yay... I can't wait two papers, one group project plus who knows what else. I hate the end of a semester.
Then there's the other decision that I just got wind of today. Only one person even knows about it and I think I've already made up my mind. I have it so good in that regard, but I still have to hear the details to give it a decent shot. I'm out of my element now, but I'm liking the scary edge I've reached and I think I'm hanging on pretty well. I like the who and the what, but I always think what if?
I love writing here its my own little unadulterated thinking place, sure I edit names and stay a little vague with some things but I write what I fell and don't have to answer to anyone for it. Kind of a great thinking/venting spot. Everyone should have something like this.
Back to class... I'm still thinking about you

It's Done!!!!

Soundtrack of my life: Cloud Of Witnesses - Schultz, Mark

Well... Almost done anyways... I think i've got everything loaded now except some minor patches and software. But after about 4 hours I'm done. Woo hoo... Now for sleep...

Another boring sunday...

Well it's been a few days and I feel that I should do something on here. Right now I'm on my laptop whilst I repartition and reinstall everything on my other computer. What fun! ... Saw this in the paper today. I tried iTunes for Windows the other day. It sucks, I mean 1. i'm not really into paying for music, why shoudl I when iMesh is still out there and I think I'm reasonably safe anyways and 2. the client isn't that great and I just didnt' like it. Let's see what's new with me...
Well first off I went out on Friday with the gang from school. That was cool I think, we went to Texas Roadhouse and then to see Elf. Elf sucked. I mean it was kinda funny at first, but then it just went down hill from there, the cheese was definately getting thick. Then we went to Kyle's house to watch the Robin Williams Live on Broadway show, definately still funny, I still love the golf sketch. 18 F***in' times!
Yesterday I went in to work on Tony's puter. We were trying to put in a DVD burner and get the firewire card setup so he can do his video editing onsite instead of going home to do it. It didn't work so hot, considering we had a bad firewire card and tired everything under the sun to get it to work before we finally gave up and got a new one. Only took us like 9 hours to get everything up and running. Should have only been 3 if it wasn't for that stupid card. Still some bugs to work out but it's working good enough right now.
Today I didn't do anything, got up around noon, sat around til about 2, then I put my new surge protector on my puter, blew the other one last week, then I went to Kokomo and got some new shoes, woo hoo!... Now I'm back at home after dinner and I'm working on the puter. I might go out later tonite, but i'm not counting on it since it's already 7...Oh well back to the other puter its 98% done now according to Partition Magic... later all...Wait, actually now I know I'm not going out. Just got a call and the last person that I thought I'd go out with is busy with a paper. Not that I don't want to go out them, but I mean my last resort... I can't say that well. Either way I'm not going out... later all

Thursday...

Soundtrack of my Life: Livin' on a Prayer - Bon Jovi

Today I had LK and it was cool. Nothign exciting really except that we only have 2 more days to go! Not that I'm excited to see it end, but i'm excited to finally get through it. I ahd a lot of fun this year and really think that it helped me out wtih learning hwo things work I guess. Lots to do in school in the coming weeks, projects and such are coming due. Busy day tomrorow. Work, Massage, then out... dunno what i'm doing, but I guess we're doin something. Things are getting better with life i guess... I'm dealing again... Off to bed

Hump Day...

Soundtrack of my Life: Jason Mraz - Curbside Prophet -

Ever wonder why it's called that... Obvious reasons of being over the hump of the week but surely there's somethin else out there that's not sexual. Today the wind is blowing 45MPH and the temp went from 60 this moring to liek 35 right now. That sucks. I wore short sleeves today too. Froze my butt off after class. It's been seriously a boring day today. Got some stuff done at work, hopefully I can finish my presentation on Friday too. Louie's on friday too! Massage too, I need one so bad, whenever the weather changes like this my back really kills me. Going out on Friday probably too, an interesting group at that. More on that some other night, right now I'm going to bed and going to LK in the morning, only 3 more classes to go!

I hate the rain

Soundtrack of my Life: Mr. Jones - Counting Crows

Today was a horribly rainy day. It was dreary and rainy all day. Matter of fact, I got out of my car and as soon as i shut the door (miles from a building) it started to pour as if God was pulling some ironic joke on me. This weekend is turning out to be less than expected... Nothin doin yet. Hopefully somethin will come around though. Friends of friends are good I guess... we'll soon see... maybe. Old friends are different story though, they can change faster than you can imagine, getting married, having kids, it's all nuts to me. I'm 21 and still a kid dangit! But to each his own, don't let me judge you. I'm off to bed...

Let there be RSS

Soundtrack of my Life: Fountain's of Wayne - Stacy's Mom

As you'll notice on the left side you will find a link to my RSS feed. If you don't know what an RSS is, it probably doesn't matter. If you do, check it out, add it to your favorite reader. Mine is SharpReader. Check it out sometime. Chris Pirillo's site is a nice one to read too. Got some good tips for 'puter newbies and such. Talk to you all later. School was fine. Work tomorrow...

I'm a news junkie

Soundtrack of my Life: Genesis - I Can't Dance

I read the news all day. Seriously I think it's becoming a problem. I mean yeah, everyone should know something about what's going on in the world but between MSNBC and Fark I think I spend way too much time online reading and just doing nothing in general. I also spend alot fo time on AIM, but usually not so much at work. Just an occasional hi and stuff... nothing indepth usually. That was part of my problem thsi weekend though, I spent more time just surfing and talking that actually working on my paper.... Maybe I should unhook my cable modem just to see if I can get by without it or something... yeah right... I'd die plus I wouldn't blog anymore. I'm in the habit now... I have to keep it up. No one reads this probably, but still I feel the obligation to write something now and then. It clears my head a bit. No substitute for good old fashioned face-to-face or a phone call, but it helps. I read lots of blogs lately where people are depressed about themselves and how they perceive themselves. I'm guilty of this too. Is the whole world just apathetic and depressed. I would like to think not, but the more I see the more I have my doubts.
Matt is leaving for God knows where soon probably. He goes to MN this week to find out where and when. Kinda sad about that, what if he's gone for X-mas? That will suck, he's finally getting stuff in order with his life. Got a good girl now and he's going to IU next semester. I wish the best for him and hope that God will watch over him if he leaves. I know it'll be hard on all of us.
I'm off to class today... yay... My paper is due at 4 and i've been done for 36 hours! That's a first for me. Normally, I would still be working on it. Maybe I am getting a better work ethic for school. I think I just used that phrase wrong but who cares. Hey if you read this, leave a comment, just say hey or something so I know someone reads this and I'm not talking to myself. Mooshe, if you read this, especially say hey. You're blog has died recently. We haven't talked in forever partly because I haven't left any comments on your blog either, but it was fun while it lasted. See you all later.

An interesting night

Soundtrack of my Life: Daughters - Jonh Mayer

Went over to Shelby's to take her quilt to her tonight. It was cool to be back in that house and see everyone again. Nothing has changed and that's good to see. On the spur of the moment we (shelby and I) decided to go see Matrix: Revolutions. Definitely not what I was expecting but still a good movie I guess. Then we came back to her house and just sat in the car and talked. Nothign really important but ti was cool to hang out. It's 1220ish now and I really should be in bed. That's where I'm goin...

What to get me for X-mas..

Soundtrack of my Life: Soak it Up - Warren Barfield

Check it out here This list will probably be updated about weekly. I'll post new ones at that address. Or you coudl check out my Amazon wish list at the left over there. But me somethin. Go ahead you know you want to.

Another dull Sunday

Soundtrack of my Life: House of the Rising Sun - Cream

It's sunday and the Colt's lost. No one is online. My paper is done. I feel better after talking to Emmy last nite, she told me some things that I didnt' realize I was doing to people around me and now I'm going to try to change them. I'm going to see Shelby tonight to take her a quilt that my grandma made for her. Haven't seen her in like 3 months so that might be cool. A boring day. I need to get out of here today sometime.

It's done... Saturday nights suck

Soundtrack of my Life: I Boast No More - Cademon's Call

My paper is finally done. Thank God. I got it done aroudn dinner time tonight. Tonight was not a good night though. Seemed that just when I thought I had plans or somethin, it was gone. It's 1120 and I'm home. I hate Saturday's with nothing to do. I just wish things would get sorted out soon. I knwo what I want, I just can't have it. I know things I wish I had instead and still can't have. Why is this so complicated all fo a sudden. Maybe its just setting in more that it's over and I have to move on. People all around me are going about life the way they always ahve adn I just can't seem to catch up . I just don't know what to do really. Life is not good at the moment.

Did you see the eclipse tonight?

Soundtrack of my Life: Yellow - Coldplay

I was driving to Kokomo and saw it. It was really kind of eerie. You could almost see the shadow moving. As I drove around it was just amazing to see it all happen. It was a beautiful clear night so everything was perfect.

I hate homework

Soundtrack of my Life: Memphis Soul Song - Uncle Kracker

I'm sitting here on a perfectly freezing Saturday afternoon at 2PM listening to music and now I have to start doing some homework. I should have had it done earlier, like yesterday but I got distracted. Now it's due on Monday *have* to get it done today. Last night I went out with Matt, we ate at OG and then went to his house. Nothing big to speak of really. SO far today I made lunch and watched TV. Tonight I have no idea what I'm doing, maybe I'll call Sarah or something, Tony said something and about hanging out too. Hmmm... I just need to get out of the house sometime today... keeps me sane... I'll be back when the paper is done.

New pics up

Check this out My Things Page I'm off to finsish my homework so that maybe I can get out of the house tonite sometime...Later

I want a new life...

One with no homework and no difficult friends or relationships...

I'm such a geek...

I realize that most of you will not find this amusing at all, but to those of us who know HTML this is kinda cool. Bill AMend was on The Screensavers on TechTV the other night and I found it quite amusing that although he isn't a technical person he still sees the humor that IT people go through everyday. I'm leaving you with an older comic as well, that I found amusing the first time I saw it because there was a time in HS where I thought that this could be a cool idea should I ever have to pull a Bart Simpson and actually write on the chalkboard... anyways back to work

Ouch...

OK, just got back from the gym... other than being entirely exhausted... i hurt... I need sleep adn a massage.... maybe i'll call tomorrow and go get one... hmm... the runnign isn't what kills me...the weights did... i'm so out of shape...more pics coming tomorrow my 26 things...
Things are getting better everyday. I miss the old stuff, but the new isnt' so bad, its not perfect yet. But I understadn what's going on and I can deal with it now. Friends are friends, that's all I need for now.

Never look back

You should never try to start fresh by looking at the past. I just finsihed reading some stuff that was written in 2001... bad way to start the nite. I'm off to class tonite and then to the gym after that for a bit. I really feel unfit right now, I dont' think i'm fat really, just out of shape. Maybe I can stick with it this time...

Just messing around...

Lets see if this works:

If it did its one of my first pics for my 26 things project.. if not... I suck at HTML and should go back to school... later

Oops

Forgot something. Check out the new homepage at mb.com I've started my 26 things hunt too. Check it out, leave some feedback and let me know what you think... All for now

An interesting weekend...

It's Sunday... the end to another weekend. I went to Tony's for a Matrix party on Friday and then to Matt's for a Halloween thing. Tony's was cool, Matrix Reloaded was awesome on the surround sound. Left at aroudn 11 to go to Matt's when I got there Micah was putting in a stereo for Laura so we worked on that until about 2:30... I was dead tired so I went home. On Saturday I went to Indy with Terra. we went to Castleton to Besty BUy and the mall, just hanging out and talking and junk. Got two shirts form the Gap. Then we went to Broad Ripple to the Wellington/Corner Wine Bar. It was awesome to just have a quiet dinner with someone so interesting. We didn't talk about anything, but I feel like we covered everything. I took her home around 9 and then went back to Kokomo to meet up with Matt and Sarah and her friends to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Scary as hell! After the movie we went to Shake my Steak and as soon as we got ther Jenn, Sarah's friend and I went to the bathrooms, while we were in there, someone fired up a blender, but in a bathroom it sounded just like a chainsaw. When Jenn came out she was crying, I guess the movie really got to her. I got home around 1:30 and went to bed. Today has been pretty busy for me on a Sunday, I got up and helped clean up the yard for winter, leaves and lawn furniture and such. I just got back from Kokomo a little while ago, bought 3 more shirts at Old Navy, nothign special, just needed a refresh on my winter shirts. Anyways tonite I shoudl study for my A202 test that's tomorrow... Most likely though, I'll go out and hang with someone. Life is changing right now, and as much as I hate change, I think it'll help me grow as a person.

26 things in 30 days

Ok here's the deal in the next few weeks or 30 days to be exact i'm going to do thsi thign called 26 things... Basically, you take pictures of things to satisfy a list. There are no winners, jsut an experience... Should be good I think...

Boredom in Econ

Soundtrack of my Life: SetYouFree - Not The Joneses

Sitting here in econ class bored out of my mind. I just felt like writing about what's going on in life right now. First off, tomorrow is Tony's party and then Matt's party right after. Should be fun, but busy. Then on Saturday Terra and I are going out. I'm nervous. I mean yeah it's cont a date or anything, but I wish it was kinda. She's fun. What's all I know right now> I wish I knew her better or at least had the chance to know her better. I understand what she's doing and why. What I don't' understand is why she isn't' letting things cool off a bit and just living life and having fun.
I guess I feel that way because I think I'm moving on. I dunno though maybe I screwed things up by trying to move on. I got the feeling that when I moved on she still hadn't maybe. I wish I understood things better. Two months ago things were going well, no, total turmoil. Things weren't perfect but I thought they were workable. I was wrong I guess.
Now I know what I want. I can play the "what-if" game, but I honestly don't' want to. I want what and who I had. I have nothing to complain about now except that there is nothing to complain about.
People care me. They change faster than I know how to react. Maybe I'm just unobservant and cant' see what's going on around me.
I think I think too much.
My mind moves faster than me but still has to catch up at the same time. I'm always thinking about something. People who say they aren't' thinking about anything bother me. I don't' understand blank minds. If I'm not thinking or planning my next move or something I go nuts.
I prefer reaction over action I guess. I've done a lot of things in my life that some people find shameful or embarrassing. I'm not ashamed. I did what I did when I did it, because I wanted do it. At the time it seemed like a good idea, and in some cases it still is a good idea. People shouldn't judge before they try something and everyone has different tastes.

Am I over it? No, I'm just dealing with it...

Things are definitely changing quickly. I mean in one weekend, I went from happy, to sad, to happy again. People can change their minds about things sometimes. I look around at all the things going on in my life and realize that this all must be fore a purpose higher than my own consciousness can recognize. Am I over it all? Of course not, but I'm moving on now. I've learned that I can't change the past or force the future, I have to be patient. I'm living now for now, not for tomorrow. The smallest things matter the most. A smile is worth more than anything, if you can smile then it's not so bad. I keep thinking that maybe something isn't right with life, everything is great actually, it's life, that's what makes it so fun. A small something is better than a huge nothing. The week has been exciting, nothing big has happened, maybe it's the anticipation, maybe it's the newness of it all, either way, I'm happy now. If it happens it happens, if not I'll be ok. Until next time...

Do I look that stupid?

Certain people, you know who you are, are saying they are not who they say they are. I know what you're doing, you make it too obvious. The great thing about the net is you leave a trail wherever you go. IP addresses can be traced to certain towns, SNs on AIM can be traced to accounts, and all the little logger in my profile does is log your IP address and location if you visit it. So by now, I've figured out who you are. As a matter of fact, last time we talked, I left hints as to where to find me if you wanted to, I lied.. Hardly ever go there, but you did put on a good show by playing dumb about the locations of certain sports bars in our area. Now I realize you're trying to be sneaky, but really, it's pretty dang obvious. I predict that this post will scare of the offending one for a while, but don't you worry, they'll be back. Like clockwork, they just keep coming back...

so confused

nothign else to say... why is life so complicated

Moving Day

Today I am moving my domain to a new host so for the next couple of days things may be a bit hairy. If you need to reach me use my other email.. gibb626@insightbb.com. Also, look for some new features to the blog possibly.. like maybe i'll post some pics now and then or something... who knows... see you all in the funny pages:)

Sunday's are boring

Soundtrack of my Life: My Heart Goes Out - Warren Barfield

I'm sitting here doing absolutely nothing. I mean I got up today, sat around and read the paper and then I took a shower. After that I got on the net and piddled around for a bit. I decided to work on my APA paper for school today. I think I have all the sources I'm going to need, but I might still do an interview just to add some credibility to my hypothesis. Who knows though I'm looking for a new web host too... I'm paying too much right for the features I get. I need more storage space... It would make file transfers so much easier for me. I'll find something I guess.
Seriously though, it's 4 o'clock and I've done nothing and still have nothing to do... I guess I'll go pay some bills and maybe watch a movie or something... Maybe I'll sleep...

it's sunday and my buddy list is empty

Soundtrack of my Life: Only Heart - Jonh Mayer

Does anyone else ever have this problem? I, like many other people in the world now have a broadband cable connection, meaning that I am always on the Internet, and therefore pretty much always on AIM. I have about 100 people on my buddy list and usually about 15-20 people are online at one time. Today... actually just now, I checked and only 4 people are online. I wonder if it's just this time of day or maybe everyone got kicked off the net simultaneously... Hmmm.. It's been a petty dull week really. I don't' think anything exciting has happened. I got some good contacts at work and hopefully will start getting some commission checks. This week should be ok too... I've got some meetings already and I think school should be fine. My APA paper research is feeling a bit weak right now but I can fix that with some time in the library or something. I dunno. Anyways I'm going to go finish watching my movie and then do something tonight.... I think I'm fixit a puter.

I want to live in the center of a circle, I want to live on the side of a square

Soundtrack of my Life: Home Life - Jonh Mayer

Econ test today. Should be interesting. Things are going ok right now I guess. They could be better but only time will really tell. I hate waiting... I'm just too impatient...I can only hope. OF course it just creates mroe hassle if something does happen, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. Work is going well I guess... got some stuff sold this week, need some commissions though cause I am still flat broke. If anyone wants to donate, email me and i'll give you an address to send money to. I have a paypal account that you can use too. :) Aight I'm goin to eat... talk to you all later

It smells like Vegas in here!

It's been a pretty dull week... but I thought I shoudl get something out this week so this thing doesn't get too stale. Took and accounting test yesterday... still waiting on results. Work is slow again this week... but services are picking up. new things to try this weekend... meeting the "friends" should be an adventure. Aight... that's pretty much all I got... later

Did congress really help the excutive branch?

[Listening to: Goodnight L.A. - Counting Crows - Hard Candy (04:17)]

I don't think so.

Sorry inside joke... very inside. Well this weekend was definitely a good weekend... probably the best one in quite a while really. Friday we went were going to play golf but then it rained... like torrential downpour rain, so we hung out at Matt's. Didn't' do anything but still had fun. On the way home, I swear I almost drowned my car but we lived... Saturday I finally got the FH fence finished... well we did anyways. Then matt and I and Sarah hung out for a bit, picked up Tricia and then we went down to Crackers and the Jazz Cooker... absolutely amazing. Greg Morton? I think that was his name he was totally hilarious, go see him if you ever have the chance. I got home at like 300 this morning... but defiantly had fun the whole night. Now I have to study for an Accounting test that I'm really nervous about. I think I know the stuff, but I just know that I'll screw something up. Oh well, we'll find out tomorrow night I guess. English presentation too... Not to confident about that. But hopefully this week work will pickup and stuff and I'll get some money or something.Off to watch a movie or something...

sorry comes easy

its what happens after that's hard.... admiting your'e wrong adn letting somethign go that you feel you cannot live without.... The sparkle in your eyes out shines our moon honey... until we meet again

How do I say it?

How to say I'm osrry without saying it? Sometimes I feel liek i screw up without even knowing it. I try so hard to be the right persona nd it always seems liek after a while i slip and fail. I'm sorry. Is that so hard? It is when you feel like you say it all the time I guess. I jsut wish that life coudl go on after thsi stuff and didnt' ahve that "werd" period. But that's life right, you just can't always pick up and go on. I think this will all work itself out. One way or another...

WEekly post

I just can't seem to get in the habit of doing this regularly.... This week started out well and went down hill form there.... Personally... Professionally things went fine. Things will get better though. I am confident that all things work out for them selves it just takes time to get everything figured out. I would go into details but I don't' think that everyone involved would be too happy if the rest of the world found out about it. So I will just say that things are not as well as they were but they have the possibility of getting much much better. OK I'm going to go get my hair cut and buy some ON Cords.... later... Check this out

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

Once a week?

Seems like I only post about once a week now... need to start doing this thing more but here's the Friday Five and Sexy Saturday... see you all on the flip side.

1. What housekeeping chore(s) do you hate doing the most? I hate hearing a vacuum cleaner... it's usually early in the morning and that's not the best thing to wake up to. I dont' liek cleaning anything in the bathroom though really.

2. Are there any that you like or don't mind doing? Dusting isnt' so bad i guess

3. Do you have a routine throughout the week or just clean as it's needed? as it's needed so i at least have a path through my room

4. Do you have any odd cleaning/housekeeping quirks or rules? Nothign relaly execpt dusting before vacuuming...

5. What was the last thing you cleaned? My desk in about 10 mintues.

Sexy Saturday...

Do you have any tattoos and do you feel they add to your sex appeal? What do you feel about 'sexy' body modifications such as tongue/nipple/genital piercings? no tattoos, i think sometimes a tongue ring or belly button ring are cool... but only on the right people. Nipples and other private areas are out of the question though.

Well tis' been a good week I think, school is fine, work is good... I just got back from Emmy's... all is well....

Hi Ho Hi Ho

Off to Bloomington I go....

see you all on Sunday

New Design!... kinda anyways

So i've added some stuff to the design of the site... comments/flames? See the link below... Later all

Friday Five

1. Are you going to school this year? Yes

2. If yes, where are you going (high school, college, etc.)? If no, when did you graduate? IUK, College kinda

3. What are/were your favorite school subjects? So far I think my W100 class is going to be pretty good

4. What are/were your least favorite school subjects? English

5. Have you ever had a favorite teacher? Why was he/she a favorite? Beall, he was tough, but always made sure you learned something.

So this was my first week of work and school. All in all I'd say it went pretty well. School si nto to bad, it's goign to be alot of work and stuff bu tI think i cna manage. Work is the best... it's such an easy going environment and Tony is a really good boss. I ahve to get soemthign sold next week though. I need some dough. I'm going down to Bloomington to see Emmy tomroorw... Should be a good weekend to come. Next week is another short week, but we're moving to our new offices, so it will be at elast a new experience for me. I love Victorian Architecture. So yeah, that's all I have for now... maybe i'll get bored again tonite and write again... until next time.

man... what did i do?

ok so i got up today and went out to leave for golf.... car no workie... it appears that my car battery blew up last nite and shot battery acid all over my engine... so i had to go get a new battery and put that in. but before i coudl do that i had to clean up all the acid that was eating my car away.... yea!
then i went ot Flora/Geetingsville to fix a puter with Blaster/SoBig/Walshia(sp?) on it... what fun that was... finally got home aroudn 6ish and ate dinner and then i got hon here....
matt's not home so i guess i'll go to K-mart and buy a new car chager for my cell phone adn a bettery for my g-ma... then it's back here to go to bed and get up early in the mornign to get my oil changed and then off to monticello for two days....
later

it's sunday!!! golf and puter fixin await me

i'm so bored

man... todya was totally a waste... here's a recap...

11am: wake up
12pm: shower
1pm: puter time and tv time
2pm: watched apollo 13 and played on the puter
3pm: see 2pm
4pm: see 3pm
4:30pm: dinner... why did we eat so freakin early today..?
4:45: back to the puter. Movie is over now
6pm: off to Kokomo to Sears
6:30pm: drive around Kokomo aimlessly
8:00pm: meet Josh in Converse
8:30pm drive with Josh back to Kokomo, The Ultimate wasn't open yet so off to BW's. Got a Sam Adams (not good)
9:30pm: take josh back to Converse
10pm: drive home, call emmy, not there
10:30pm: get home, call emmy, still not there. get on puter
11pm: call emmy, not home yet
11:15pm: emmy's home, talk to her for a bit
12am: get on puter and watch SNL
12:30am: post pathetic blog entry...

yeah... how much fun was that....
hopefully tomorrow i'll go play golf or somethin... maybe i'll play 18 or somethin...

off to bed

amen it works!

woo hoo... i love testing crap like this out.... spent 20 mintues just trying to get the color the exact right shade of orange and in the process i taught myself a little more about Style-Sheets and junk too...

testing this title thing out

does it work?

Welll it has been both an eventful and uneventful week around here...

First of all Emmy is down at IU now, so i'm all alone and stuff... It'll be an adjustment, but I think year will defiantely be easier on me than last. I'll be busier and so will she.

I start my new job next wednesday and start school the same day too.

My last day at OG is tomorrow.

Going to discuss theology with Josh Saturday nite... he is a God genius I swear....

Going to bed now

1. How much time do you spend online each day? Anywhere from 1-6 hours... depends on who's online and what else I have to do

2. What is your browser homepage set to? One that I created myself... <--GEEK My Homepage

3. Do you use any instant messaging programs? If so, which one(s)? AIM (gibb626)

4. Where was your first webpage located? Geocities was the poop back in the day!

5. How long have you had your current website? About 6 months now...

***NEWS FLASH***

Michael now has a job!

***END***

Yeah so a quick update. I got the job at Bylines now I start on Aug 27th how cool is that. Gave my two weeks notice and finally am getting out of OG. Emmy and i have 2 more weeks together. Kinda bummed about that one. but now that i have this job hopefully i can make enough money and still have some weekend time and be able to go down and see her on a half way regualr basis. who knows though.

i think that's about it really... no friday five this week cause i thought the topic was lame so until next time...

OK so missed last week but here's the latest Friday Five:

1. What time do you wake up on weekday mornings? 6 if I have to work but other wise about 10

2. Do you sleep in on the weekends? How late? I try to sleep til at least 11ish but most of the time i'm up by 8 or 10 out of habit.

3. Aside from waking up, what is the first thing you do in the morning? Shower, gotta start the day off clean!

4. How long does it take to get ready for your day? 30-45 min

5. When possible, what is your favorite place to go for breakfast? Mickey D's of course...


OK the job thing has a light at the end of the tunnel maybe but it's not for sure yet. I do plan on starting as soon as I can though, no more OG if I can help it.

Later on all

webpage is going to be experiencing major reconstruction for a while... just check back here for updates

apparently my last post on thursday didn't go over to well... oh well... that's the way i saw it, i think. off ot bed another fun day of work tomorrow...

testing 123

cuddly or horny... that is the true question of the day

just finished reformattting my hard drive adn now i think i have most everythign up.... man i'm a geek.... no luck on the job, but i think i have a good lead. We'll find out next week... later on all

Open mouth, insert foot

Sometimes I should just keep my mouth shut. Let things go and move on. It's all building character, right?....

This is my new blogchalk:
United States, Indiana, Peru, Eagle's Pointe, English, Michael, Male, 21-25. :)

The radio is playing: Unwell - Matchbox 20

test... is the internet down again... geez...

The radio is playing: Couch Surfer - Bran Van 3000

so i tried to start a new blog the other day using Moveable Type... first of all let me say that it was a bit confusing to set up and isntall but once i got it running i found it very much easier to admin than blogger really. but then again. it's a bit harder to update the styles and stuff. so i'm sticking aroudn here for a while.... you'll know when i leave.

still looking for a job... nothin yet. went ot manpower and kelly the other day nad i'm waiting ot hear from them. i think the internet slowed down or died or somethin today around 3. google was down... you know its bad when google goes down.

oh well off to do other stuff.

The radio is playing: The Long Day Is Over - Norah Jones

Coolest verse ever

Isaiah 43:2-3 (The Message) When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end--Because I am GOD, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!

The radio is playing: Imagine - John Lennon

So i tried setting up my new blog and after many hours it's up MoveableType Blog! Check it out if ya want. So i didn't get the job and now I'm not sure what I'm going to do really... I just need a job and have to find a way to get one. I just don't know where to go really right now.... who's hiring and stuff? oh well i dunno what i'm doing today really... just hangin out i guess....

The radio is playing: House of the Rising Sun - Cream

I didn't win the Powerball... I still dont' have a job... a pretty boring week all aroudn but I am going ot see Jars of Clay tonite in concert so maybe that'll at least be cool....The Friday Five:
1. Do you remember your first best friend? Who was it? Probably Kevin Moynanhan in 2nd grade maybe

2. Are you still in touch with this person? Havent' talked to him since like 5th grade

3. Do you have a current close friend? Emmy si definately my best friend right now, but Matt and I are still kinda close

4. How did you become friends with this person? Emmy and I met in a weird way really, Matt and I just met because we were in HS badn together and just hung out

5. Is there a friend from your past that you wish you were still in contact with? Why? Heather, she was one person that was always around and we never had any romatnic feelings toward each other so it was always cool to hang with her

Later all

The radio is playing: Back In His Arms Again - Mark Schultz

still no word on the job adn it's still raining... ugh... maybe i'll win the Powerball tonite

The radio is playing: Tonight And The Rest Of My Li - Nina Gordon

the phoen interview went well i think... shoudl know somethin by the end of the week... i really need this job... tomorrow is another day at OG though...

The radio is playing: Mother Father - Dave Mathews Band

so i have my telphoen interview today... this is the last step before i hopefully get an offer. I think i'll do fine, but i'm still nervous about it. Look for changes to be happening here, new colors at least.

[I'm listening to: Marvelous Light - Derek Webb - City On A Hill]

If you read this... please leave a comment below, I'm just curious to see if anyone is actually reading this at all... Later

[I'm listening to: Dream On - Aerosmith]

If you feel generous pleaes give money to my charible project for the year... check it out here Friendship Home 2003 LK Project

Wet weather forces hundreds from their homes: "KOKOMO, July 7 - Heavy rains Friday night and Saturday morning soaked Howard County. Water flooded major roads, submerged cars and trucks and forced people from their homes. "

Crazy stuff this weekend at home... Kokomo is underwater... If you live close to Kokomo go check out Highleand Park or any park for that matter. I hope it stops raining soon...

[I'm listening to: Big Brown Bass - Randall Goodgame]

i think now i understand why people who have low paying/low brainpower/not social jobs stay with them for so long and dont' get very far in life. it totally degrades you to where you have no self-esteem. right now i feel liek the lowest thing on earth. i just didn't understand why really. when i've worked other places where i coudl think on my own and have interaction with people i was very happy with thngs but now where i'm at just makes feel liek i'm totally wrthless. i'm the bottom of the barrell.... it sucks... hoepfully my other jbo will come through thougha nd then i wont' be crappoy anymore and hoepfully i'll even have a little money then...ok friday five

1. What were your favorite childhood stories? i think i will have to go with anything by suess... the Dr. is the man.

2. What books from your childhood would you like to share with [your] children? One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish

3. Have you re-read any of those childhood stories and been surprised by anything? Lots of nuances in some of the older books that i read as a young teenager, middle school books say alot more than you realize

4. How old were you when you first learned to read? 3 or 4 i think

5. Do you remember the first 'grown-up' book you read? How old were you? Not sure what it was, really, but "chapter books" were the thing to read when i was young.

Later all

From the Friday Five, www.fridayfive.org

1. How are you planning to spend the summer [winter]? hopefully working at a good job....

2. What was your first summer job?working at a HVAC company as a gopher in teh hto blazing sun

3. If you could go anywhere this summer [winter], where would you go?anywhere that's not indiana

4. What was your worst vacation ever?any spring break but 03

5. What was your best vacation ever?spring break 03 in FLA Dayonta Beach!!!


Maybe this is a new thing i'll start doing....

so i had my interview today... it went well i think.. hopefully i'll get a call back soon but who knows for sure. thsi week is nuts... i have to work tomrorow good nite all

so yeah ok i havent' been here in a while.. sorry all... not that anyone reads this. but anyways today was cool got a new cell phoen and went out with emmy... interview on tuesday woo ho.. maybe i can finally get otu of OG. i dunno i'm tired maybe i'll write more tomorrow... later

It's my birthday... Woo hoo

[Listening to: Bus Driver - Cademon's Call - No name face (05:15)]

Tomorrow is my birthday>... yea me! I have LK in the morning, should be interesting, not sure how much is done and stuff but I know it needs lots of work that's for sure. Then I'm going to dinner with Emmy and then who knows what til 530, then its dinner with the fam. so yeah tonight I went to play golf with my uncle shot a 59... yuck! Then I went to Peru and got some lottery tickets... 110 million... yeah that would be a great birthday present.... wish me luck.

[Listening to: We're Not Right - David Gray - White Ladder (03:03)]

Check out a program called Klip, www.klipfarm.com it's kinda cool is you have a high-speed connection (cable or DSL). always updating with news and stuff... i like it. so yeah today has been boring as ever. Can't get ahold of the lady for the interview. i worked today...oh joy... bu thte good thing tomororw is my birthday... PARTY!.. ok not really... i'm probably not doing anything... geez i'm poor...later

today is hot and dull... i want to take a nap... i think i will

well today i went in for an exciting 2.5 hours... yea!! after i got home at like 1030 i helped g-ma put up some shelves and then i went to get my license renewed cause it expires on thursday well i had to take a writtten test and lets just say that I failed it... onlyl missed 3 and still fialed it. oh well though if i wait until thursday i dont' have to take it again cause then i'll be 21... gay... anyways, yeah then i played some golf shot a 54 and felt ok about it... had some wonderful, beautiful shots and stuff... oh well anyways g-ma bellows for dinner.. later

Well another day another dollar right? not for me, yet again I didn't work tonight cause OG was dead. I swear if I don't' get some hours soon i'm going to go broke. I am already broke really, but it might get really bad before long. Hopefully someone calls me soon for an interview. I shot 50 tonite at arbor trace in marion, happy about that, but everything else is just not cool... Going to bed... Later

Well I just got back from playing golf.... I sucked but the new club rocked... I love it. At church today we learned about catholics and junk... yea it was something... I think the lady was a bit off in some of the stuff she said but she was mostly right and I think that a lot of people realized that most catholics are just a bit "off" in their thinking, but at the same time I felt like she was trying to just smear them and I don't' think that's cool... But whatever , i'm going to work.... Later

I just got back from emmy's... a pretty good evening I must say. First we went to CC so she could spend her gift cards on a new phone and VCR had to believe that people still use those things but I still have a few tapes that I like to watch now and then I guess too. Then we went to Ribfest downtown... A bust to say the least... Just food and a ton of people... Yea... We went to Girton's well did a drive by actually... No one was there hardly so we just stayed clear of it and went to her house to play Life... I like it , but I like the old version better... It was harder and stuff I think. Then we just chilled and watched TV... I did get a new golf club and i'm so excited to try ti it out... I really just like it in general.... Oh well time for bed.. See you all later

Yea! I don't' have to work... Brandon called and said that they are dead because of Ribfest... How cool is that? OH yeah gotta go to Emmy's and Girton's tonite!!!

OK well I just got back from golfing.... It was really slow today but I did shot a 50 so I'm pretty happy. Tonite at work Should be interesting I guess... But anyways i'll get to go see emmy after that so it'll all be good....

Yea! my blog works... so today should be interesting. I just got up at 1030 this morning. I'm playing golf at 1130 then off to work at 5ish and then i'm going over to emmys. action packed lemme tell ya... that's cool though, at least it's money... i just hope another job comes along soon. i am gettign poor.... and i hate thsi new blogger... no spell check so i'll look like an idiot or somethin... :(

So this is my new blog... hopefully you can all see it, if not.. well more to come later.